August M & M fest
by m-and-m-fest
Summary: A collection of Mary & Marshall challenge fics.
1. IntroExplanation

Welcome to the first official M & M fest (or should I say feast?)!

I have been involved in writing several fictions for the NCIS version of this called 'Jibbsfest'. When I realized how many Mary/Marshall fans there were, I knew I had to try it for In Plain Sight.

The basic idea is that we fanfiction writers challenge each other and you, the reader, enjoy the fruits of our labor all at once.

I would really like to do another one soon, so if you didn't know this was happening and would like to participate in the next one, feel free to pm me or join the forum here at .

The challenge was to incorporate the following:

--sunset

--mirror

--wedding dress

--a song (extra credit for lyrics)

--the phrase/realization that Mary was already married

AND OF COURSE

--Mary & Marshall have to end up together

I want to thank the writers who participated, the readers (especially those who review), and the girls behind Jibbsfest that gave me the idea for M & M fest. All usual disclaimers apply.


	2. Anna

This place is too damn quiet.

Mary had been on her honeymoon for six days now, and it would be four more before she's due back. The planning and arrangements for a cruise and a trip to the Dominican Republic for the newlyweds had been Marshall's gift to them. Raph was anxious for Mary to meet the rest of his family, and Mary was looking forward to the first real vacation she'd had in years. Marshall made sure great flapjacks would be available.

Marshall hated being in the office without his partner, it reminded him too much of the last time she was gone so long. At least this time, the worse thing she would suffer from would be seasickness. He missed the spitballs and prying "amusings" into his social life. It was no fun having no one to pick on. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately), work has been relatively calm. They had only one witness intake since she left, a computer geek that had picked the wrong system to hack into. He and Stan had gotten the new witness settled in, and so far, he had been fairly low maintenance. As for the rest, Stan was taking care of any crises on Mary's desk and Eleanor was helping out with the rest.

He went to the restroom and stared at his reflection in the mirror as he washed his hands. He was trying hard to keep his broken heart under the surface. It had been a beautiful wedding. It would have been better if he had a different role in it, however. Shaking the thoughts away, he went back to his desk and grabbed his keys.

"I need to get out of here for a while, Chief", he told Stan on his way out the door. Stan was on the phone and waved in acknowledgment as Marshall left. He thought he might grab some lunch, maybe drop in on the geek, then call it an early day. He'd have to find some way to occupy his time because sitting at home wallowing in what could have been was getting old. He sat on the patio at the Owl Café, pondering the events of the last week over a green chile cheeseburger. His table afforded him a clear view of Sandia Peak, the place where it had all gone down a week ago. Little did he know a phone call would soon change his life.

…

Raph had wanted the whole white wedding affair; Mary had visions of eloping to Vegas. They finally compromised and chose a sunset ceremony on the deck of the High Finance Restaurant on Sandia Peak. New Mexico has the most stunning sunsets and that night was no exception. The setting sun provided a glowing orange-purple background with the city lights sparkling below.

The groom, wedding party and guests had already taken the tram up the mountain. The bride and her partner; the man she asked to give her away, were taking the next one up. They watched the terrain pass below them in that comfortable silence that comes with knowing someone well enough that words are unimportant. He finally broke the silence, "You look beautiful, Mare." She looked up at him, smiling. Her hands smoothed the simple, yet elegant ivory dress she wore. The matching wrap slipped off her shoulders and Marshall caught it before it hit the floor. "Thanks," she almost whispered, "for everything. There's no one I'd rather have walking me down the aisle." He looked softly at her and said "Well, there is" thinking about her father, "but I'm honored you asked."

The ceremony itself was a simple affair. Brandi was the maid of honor; Raph's friend from his baseball days was the best man; they had invited about twenty guests. Marshall walked his partner, the beautiful bride, down the aisle to meet her destiny. He kissed her gently on the cheek and offered her hand to Raph. "You take care of her," he told him with his heart in his throat, then turned and took his seat next to Jinx. With an exchange of vows and rings, it was done; his exotic animal now belonged to another.

…

His ringing phone brought him back to the moment. He was surprised by the name on the caller ID: Mary. "House of Pie" he answered the phone, keeping it light. Silence greeted him back. "Mare?" he tried again. This time a weak voice replied, "Can you come to the airport? Delta arrivals?" A million thoughts raced through his mind as he replied, "I'll be right there."

He drove as fast as common sense would barely allow, the million thoughts continuing. _What happened? Why was she home so soon?_ He found her at the curb under the Delta Airlines sign, sitting on her suitcase with a thousand-yard stare. Alone. He jumped out of the car and went to her. She had obviously been crying and looked sleep-deprived, but was not ready to tell him why she was here. He held the door open for her, then loaded her bags while she got settled. As they left the airport, she stared straight ahead and quietly asked "Can we go to your place? I don't want anyone to know I'm back in town." He looked at her, the sadness weighing on his heart. "Sure", he said. It hurt him to see his usually confident and strong partner so defeated. He was dying to know what happened, but he'd have to wait for her to tell him in her own time. The rest of the ride was quiet; that comfortable silence that comes with knowing someone well enough that words are only half the story.

Marshall opened the door to his house, and then went back for the bags. Mary went in and plopped down on the couch. By the time he had taken her stuff into the guest room, she had fallen fast asleep. He sighed deeply and pulled the blanket from the back of the couch over her. He picked up his phone, wandered into the kitchen and called Stan. "Hey Chief, since things are so slow, I think I'm going to take a couple of vacation days, if that's OK. … Thanks Stan, call me if something comes up." He grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat down on the loveseat, watching his partner sleep peacefully. They stayed this way for a while until Marshall too drifted off to sleep.

He awoke to the sound of rummaging in his kitchen. He checked his watch as he stood up: 5:30pm; they'd been out for a while. Mary was pulling a bag of chips out of the cabinet to go with the beer she found in the fridge. "You hungry? I can make us something." She nodded, obviously still not in a talking mood. He got the water heating to make spaghetti and while digging out the rest of the stuff, gently asked her, "What happened, Mare?" He looked over his shoulder at her and watched as she played with the bottle in front of her. She whispered, "I made the biggest mistake of my life." He turned and leaned on the counter and listened.

She stared at the ring the bottle made on the tabletop, tracing it with her finger, "I so desperately wanted to be happy, for him to be the one. I thought with all the stress of the wedding and work behind us, we could just enjoy each other, no distractions" Tears began to roll down her cheeks. Marshall grabbed the box of tissues from the top of the fridge and handed it to her. She continued, "after a few days on the cruise, we started in on each other about everything. All the crap we fought about here." Her voice got even quieter, "He thinks my job is too dangerous and wants me to quit. I told him that I love my job and the only way I'd leave it is in a box."

She looked up in time to see him flinch at those words. Six months ago, she almost did. Inside, he felt like someone kicked his legs out from under him. He imagined Raph had reacted about the same. "Well, you can imagine how well things went from there. Over the next couple of days, if we weren't fighting about the past, present or future, we were at opposite ends of the ship trying to stay out of each others way." She looked at her friend, who, other than the flinch, hadn't moved a muscle since she started talking. He was almost holding his breath, afraid to break her momentum."

She took a deep breath, "I spent the last night of the cruise alone on a deck chair staring at the stars, looking for guidance...a sign. I finally came to the realization that even though I loved Raph, I just wasn't in love with him. We had no future. I couldn't stay and I certainly couldn't meet the rest of his family." She got up and walked over to the window, slumping against the window frame. "So when the ship docked in Puerto Rico, we each went home. He caught the ferry to the Dominican Republic, and I caught the first flight back to Albuquerque."

He walked over to her and hugged her tightly. She sobbed quietly. In between sobs, she said "I called you because I knew like always, you'd stand by me; without judging or question. Like always, you're the one person I can truly trust with my heart." For once, Marshall Mann was speechless.

He held her for what seemed like forever, until the mood was broken by the sound of boiling water splashing out of the pot. He kissed her forehead and went to turn the stove off. She tried to compose her self as best she could and asked if she could take a shower while he finished up dinner. He got her some clean towels out of the closet and headed back to the kitchen. He waited until he heard the water running to release the flood of emotions threatening to overwhelm him. It was too soon to tell, but maybe, just maybe, he was being given a second chance to not screw up. To tell her and show her how he really felt. "Just don't blow it, doofus", he mumbled under his breath and focused his attention on his cooking.

...

Over the next couple of days, Mary spend most of her time either sleeping or thinking about how she was going to break the news to everyone that the marriage they witnessed just two weeks ago was already at the bottom of the Caribbean Sea. She was glad there was one task she hadn't gotten around to: filing the marriage certificate with the county clerk. While they were technically married, it wasn't legal until the certificate was recorded. Dumb luck, she mused, or maybe the gods really do look after fools and children.

For his part, Marshall just went with the flow. Close enough to be a comfort to her, but giving her enough distance to work things out in her mind. Slowly, she showed signs that the Mary he knew and loved was starting to reappear. A little more frayed around the edges, but the essential elements were there. She was smiling more, teasing him about his various collections and hobbies and generally giving him a hard time. He cherished every minute of it.

...

The time had finally come that she was going to have to face the world. She was going to have to go back home and face his stuff in her house and the millions of questions from Jinx and Brandi. They sat quietly eating the chicken enchiladas that Marshall had made for dinner. She had gotten her strength back, thanks to her best friend; the rock on which her soul was built. They cleaned up the dinner dishes, then went and sat out on the patio, under the stars. They chatted about this and that. He told her about the new computer geek witness, and how much fun Stan was having doing her job (not). After a couple of hours, he excused himself to go to bed. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day helping her pack up Raph's stuff and move it into storage until he could make arrangements to get it. He had just gotten comfortable with a book when there was a knock at his bedroom door. He told her to come in, which she did. She sat down on the edge of his bed wearing the scruffy t-shirt she had borrowed from him, seeing as how she hadn't exactly packed PJs. "Thank you," she told him, "for everything." He brushed the hair back from her face, saying "Anytime. All you have to do is ask. I'll always be here for you."

"There's one more thing you can do for me", she whispered, leaning over to turn off the light. "Make the world go away for just one more night". He pulled her close and did just that.

...

The next day, he dropped Mary off at her house to break the news while he went to pick up boxes and breakfast. When he returned, the Shannon girls had cried their tears and resolved to make the best of it, like always. The music coming from the radio was from the local station that played a little bit of everything. As they packed, a song caught the attention of the partners:

_I watched the world float_

_To the dark side of the moon_

_After all I knew it had to be_

_Something to do with you_

_I really don't mind what happens now and then_

_As long as you'll be my friend at the end_

_If I go crazy then will you still_

_Call me Superman_

_If I'm alive and well, will you be_

_There a-holding my hand_

_I'll keep you by my side_

_With my superhuman might_

_Kryptonite_

They stopped in their tracks and listened. Had someone been eavesdropping on their lives? They'd each heard this song a million times before, but this time, they listened with new ears, a new heart.

_You called me strong, you called me weak,_

_But still your secrets I will keep_

_You took for granted all the times_

_I never let you down_

_You stumbled in and bumped your head,_

_If not for me then you'd be dead_

_I picked you up and put you back_

_On solid ground_

_If I go crazy then will you still_

_Call me Superman_

_If I'm alive and well,_

_Will you be there a-holding my hand_

_I'll keep you by my side_

_With my superhuman might_

_Kryptonite_

She put her hands on her hips and flashed a teasing smile at him "Superman, huh".

"Well, you are like Kryptonite to me", he replied with a huge grin.

They broke into a glorious laughter they hadn't shared in a long, long time. Jinx and Brandi stared at them bewildered, not clued in to the private joke. They set back about their packing, occasionally snarking or giggling at each other, but mostly in that comfortable silence that comes with knowing someone well enough that sometimes, the song says it all.


	3. I Love Dolphins

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, and the song is "I Can Love you Like That" By John Michael Montgomery, so I don't own that either

Mary sighed as she walked into her office. She and Raph had gotten into another spat this morning about when they would be getting married. Raph felt that they were ready to get married, soon as in tomorrow, if he had his way, but Mary told him she needed more time. So, after a lengthy conversation, or argument in Mary's case, they had come to an agreement that they would get marry at the end of the week. Now all she had to do was tell her fellow co-workers.

"So Mary, any idea when you guys will be tying the knot? You two have been engaged for quite some time now right?" Eleanor asked stirring her coffee.

"Funny you should ask, Raph and I discussed that this morning, again." Mary said her eyes never leaving the pile of folders she was going through. "We're getting married this weekend."

Eleanor gasped then squealed while Marshall choked on a sip of coffee he had just taken, complaining that it was too hot.

"So here's the deal." Mary said finally looking up from the files. "The rehearsal dinner is more of a lunch in the park, followed by the rehearsal, then we're having a big party together instead of a Bachelor/bachelorette parties, I don't get why people would do that anyway, but you should come. It's Friday, wedding's Saturday night."

Eleanor nodded excitedly and headed into Stan's office to relay the information as Mary glanced over at Marshall.

"Hey, you hungry?" Mary asked as if she hadn't just dropped a big bombshell on him, and he nodded as if he was completely normal.

Truth be told Mary's mind couldn't have been farther from food, a first for her, but she really needed to talk to Marshall away from the office and its nosey occupants.

"So, Saturday huh?" Marshall asked after they were seated.

"Yeah."

"Nervous?"

"No, why would I be?" Mary asked. "I carry a gun."

Marshall laughed and looked away.

"Marshall, I wanted to ask you something."

"Shoot." He said giving her his full attention.

"Well, you know about my father, so I'll just skip right to the point. I was wondering if you'd walk me down the aisle." Mary said.

Mary knew what she was asking and felt awkward asking her partner. Yeah, she knew she could ask Stan to do it but she knew deep down she would feel more comfortable with Marshall by her side.

Well that sounded weird.

"Mary, I-" Marshall started and broke eye contact.

"Look I know it's weird and I understand if you don't want to. I'll just get Stan to do it. Forget I asked." Mary said suddenly feeling self conscious of what she asked.

"No, Mary, I-I would be honored to walk you down the aisle." He said pasting a smile on his face, he knew he would regret his decision later.

"Thank you Marshall."

_____________________________________________________________________________________

The week had been hectic to say the least. Mary had been dragged all over Albuquerque picking out all of the necessities for the wedding, or at lease nodding in approval at what Brandi was picking out.

Soon Friday came and Mary woke up bright and early hoping, praying that Stan would call her in for some kind of witness emergency calling her away from today's "festivities," but she knew he wouldn't. He had given her and Marshall the day off in order to "celebrate" her marriage, insisting that he and Eleanor could handle one day without them.

Mary sighed and walked out into the kitchen where she was greeted by Brandi and Jinx.

"Oh! My precious daughter's getting married!" Jinx cooed wrapping her arms around Mary.

"Mom it's really not that big of a deal." Mary said shaking her head. "Has she been drinking, and don't you start crying too, Squish."

"I can't help it. You and Chico!" Brandi joined in and Mary rolled her eyes.

"Where is Raph anyway?" Mary asked once they had finally let her go.

"Oh, he said he had a few things to attend to and he'd meet us at the park." Brandi said and Mary nodded.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Mary almost hated to admit it, but the rehearsal dinner, okay, the picnic in the park, had gone rather well. Her family and Raph's had gotten on together just fine, even Marshall seemed to enjoy himself, well he was laughing and conversing with people. That was all Mary could ask for at the moment.

She was actually shocked when he agreed to give her away, she knew that it would be awkward for him, it wasn't like she would be thrilled to stand up at his wedding. Why did that thought make her chest feel so heavy? Must have been something she ate.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Mary is not the type of person that gets nervous about a silly thing like marriage, but as they approached the section of beach where the wedding would take place she couldn't help the feeling she got when she realized that she was getting married tomorrow.

"You okay there killer?" Marshall asked with a slight chuckle as they excited the car.

"Fine." Mary replied slipping off her shoes so she could feel the warm sand as they took their places for the rehearsal.

As soon as everyone had taken their places the rehearsal started and Brandi and Raph's best man started walking. Marshall looked over at Mary. He had known her long enough to know when she was upset and now was one of those moments.

"Well I think it's our turn Mare." Marshall said holding out his arm for her to take. "And if you trip now there's no hope for you tomorrow in a dress." He attempted to lighten the mood and succeeded as she smiled and grabbed his arm.

Marshall felt a pang in his chest as he and Mary started down toward Raph. Sure he had already come to the conclusion that this would be difficult but he wasn't counting on feeling like he was going to be physically ill. Finally they made it to the end and he handed her off to Raph before taking his seat next to Mary's mother.

The minister promptly went over what the ceremony would entail and how it would progress into the reception, which would take place a bit farther down the shoreline.

With the rehearsal finished they all headed down to Potter's Bar, (Don't know if they have one in Albuquerque but I saw one while I was in Switzerland and couldn't help using it) a semi-small bar that Brandi had recently discovered, it wasn't much but it had room to dance, a variety of music, and good liquor.

Once they walked in Mary and Raph shared the first dance together before everyone else joined in, and it wasn't long before the drinks were being devoured. Mary was doing her best to be polite to Raph's friends and family, and was finding it surprisingly difficult and found herself starting to throw back a few drinks as well.

"Crazy, huh?" Mary said sitting down in the seat next to Marshall.

"Yeah, sure is." Marshall answered her. "You know you're really going to regret tomorrow" Marshall said setting his empty glass down on the table.

"What?" Mary asked.

"You know, drinking so much. You're going to have one massive hang over at your wedding." Marshall explained, and Mary nodded shaking her head, what had she thought he meant?

"Lemonade?" Mary asked pointing to his glass on the table, trying to turn attention off of her.

"I was sitting with your mother; I didn't want her to feel the need to drink." He explained, Mary smiled and glanced over to her fiancé, who was downing his god-only-knows what number tequila. "Listen, I have to get going."

"What? No." Brandi said, overhearing their conversation as she walked by. "You can't leave until you dance with Mary."

"Squish, he doesn't have-"

"No, it's fine." Marshall said a small smile forming on his face. "I'd love to. Next song."

The song that was on soon finished and the next started. Marshall stood and held out his hand and helped her up as she took it.

They read you Cinderella

You hoped it would come true

That one day your Prince Charming

Would come rescue you

You like romantic movies

You never will forget

The way you felt when Romeo kissed Juliet

All this time that you've been waiting

You don't have to wait no more

I can love you like that

I would make you my world

Move Heaven and Earth if you were my girl

I will give you my heart

Be all that you need

Show you you're everything that's precious to me

If you give me a chance

I can love you like that.

I never make a promise I don't intend to keep

So when I say forever, forever's what I mean

I'm no Casanova but I swear this much is true

I'll be holdin' nothin' back when it comes to you

You dream of love that's everlasting

Well baby open up your eyes

"I can love you like that, I would make you my world, Move Heaven and Earth if you were my girl, I will give you my heart, Be all that you need, Show you you're everything that's precious to me, If you give me a chance. I can love you like that." Marshall sang the chorus into her ear as they continued to sway to the music.

Mary held onto Marshall, feeling slight shivers as he continued to whisper the chorus into her ear, and she could not remember a time where she wished a song had more choruses. All too soon the song ended and they reluctantly broke apart.

"I have to go." Marshall said walking away out to the parking lot.

"Wait!" Mary yelled running after him, grabbing his arm to prevent him from leaving, the colors of the sunset bouncing off of her angelically as she reached the parking lot. "Don't go."

"I'm not feeling well Mare, but don't worry. I'll be in tip-top shape tomorrow when I-I give you away." He said with a sad smile and Mary nodded, letting him go.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Mary slowly walked back inside, not exactly excited to return to her "new" family. Once inside she made a mad dash to the bathroom.

She ran splashed cool water on her face and neck and looked at herself in the mirror. She couldn't explain why she had all of a sudden lost all interest in the party that was taking place just fine without her. Suddenly this marriage to Raph felt like she was committing adultery, like she was betraying her husband, her best friend.

When had she already gotten married?

Mary sighed and left the bathroom, joining the noisy crowd outside the door.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Mary was already dressed before the sunset Saturday night, knowing she still had an hour or so to wait. It was Raph's idea to get married at night, thought it would be "more romantic" as he put it. She sat looking at herself in the mirror, as far as wedding gowns go she had to say, she made it look good.

The gown fell to the ground, flaring out at the middle. The straps to the dress hung slightly off of her shoulders accentuated with vines of sequins that flowed down to the bodice of the gown, and decided that she didn't want to wear shoes, walking in the sand and all. She had to admit she had never looked better.

Sooner than she realized there was a knock at the door and Brandi walked in smiling and telling her that it was time to go. She got in the car and headed to the beach, arriving as the last bit of light left the skies above them.

"Wow, Mare. You look…amazing." Marshall said holding out his arm once again knowing he was about to walk into a wave of pain.

The wedding march started and everyone stood as she walked down the aisle lined with conch shells holding candles to light the way. Marshall lifted Mary's veil, kissed her on the cheek and handed her over to Raph, walking toward his seat when he realized he couldn't take this and continued walking, luckily for him no one noticed him continue walking toward the reception area. It would be better for him if he just waited for her there.

Mary held onto Raph's arm, noticing the coldness compared to Marshall's arm. She stared Raph in the eye's as the minister started his speech, and knew the moment the minister asked her if she promised to love, honor and obey, that she couldn't. She couldn't do any of it, not when she felt she was betraying herself.

"No." Mary said plainly and the crowd gasped. "Oh, come on. You knew it was going to happen." She said turning to their guests.

"Mary?" Raph asked.

"I'm sorry Raph but you deserve better than me, so much better, I'll only drag you down. I mean look at the stock market. I invest and it plummets." Mary said and he chuckled.

"Mary. I feel the same way. I mean I thought this is what you wanted, what I wanted but…it doesn't feel right anymore." Raph said and Mary nodded, then looked down at her ring and slid it off her finger, handing it back to him.

"Look guys, there's no reason to waste perfectly good cake and booze. I mean just knock the bride and groom right off the cake and dig in." Mary said.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Marshall sat in the sand watching the waves of the high tide come in dangerously close to him and then wash back out to the sea, leaving behind smooth even sand, a clean slate, as he thought of it. He could now hear the sounds of laughter and clapping as he presumed the happy couple had just arrived at the reception area. He knew he should get up and congratulate them but couldn't find the will power.

"Hey there doofus. What are you doing over here? Booze is that way." Mary said pointing.

"Well, I believe congratulations are in order Mrs. Ramirez." He said looking up from the waves just in time to see her sit down next to him.

"Yeah, how about that." Mary said watching his face. "But that's not my name."

"You kept your last name?" Marshall asked shocked.

"Yeah kept my name, about the only thing I didn't keep, except that damn ring." Mary said glancing at her now empty ring finger. "Shame too, about the only bling I'll see any time soon."

"Wait…you didn't get married?" Marshall asked shaking his head.

"You know for someone insanely smart, you sure don't catch on very quickly."

"Why?"

"It didn't feel right. I felt like I was betraying myself," Mary said and looked away. "and my best friend, my only friend."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, because turns out I realized that you are my exotic animal too, and though I should probably protect you from myself most of all, I don't want to." Mary explained. "I should have taken a hint when you got shot that I could never live without you Marshall Mann, and I never want to find out how-"

Marshall leaned in and captured her lips with his own sending her into a world of colors. She kissed him back eagerly leaning into his warmth.

"-that feels." She finished when he finally released her lips.

"You never will Mary; I'll always be here for you." He said with a smile and leaned in to kiss her as the tides washed in around them.

Giving them a clean slate.


	4. I Love NASCAR

TITLE: Don't Cry for Me

Author: I Love NASCAR

_It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen. All dressed in white, going to the church that night. She had his box of letters in the passenger seat, a sixpence in her shoe, something borrowed, something blue. And when the church doors opened up wide, she put her veil down, tryin' to hide the tears. Oh, she just couldn't believe it. She heard the trumpets from the military band and the flowers fell out of her hands._

Mary Shannon saw herself in a wedding dress, but instead of the Church that Raphael insisted the wedding be in, she was on the roof of the building where she spent the majority of her time. Her mother was there, Brandi, Raphael, Stan, Eleanor, Bobby D, but the only one she really cared about was standing there, holding her hands. He had that look in his eyes, the one that reminded her of a rollercoaster ride, the warm exhilaration as she realized how much they loved each other, but the terrifying feeling that reminded her how quickly things could change, not that he could stop loving her, but that they could lose each other.

"I've stood before you not as just a man, but a friend, your best friend. I've stood beside you through thick and thin, through hard times and harder times, and through times where we couldn't stand each other."

She smiled, knowing how many times they'd wanted to kill each other, how mad she'd been the first time he'd kissed her, conveying all the feelings that she'd never known he had. How scared she'd been when she found out the next week he was even thinking about leaving her and how close he'd nearly come.

"I stand beside you now as perhaps the only man who can stand your violent mood swings, and love you for every one of them. I hope to stand beside you many years from now and still see the beautiful exotic animal I want, I need, to protect, to love, to cherish. I still believe no man will ever be good enough to deserve you. I may not be the man you deserve, but I want to be the man you want and need. I stand here now ready to become your husband, ready to take that plunge, and ready to continue my life with you. I love you. I always have, I always will, nothing can ever, will ever change that."

It was as if time stopped and they were suspended in that moment, looking into each other's eyes, holding hands, as if no one else existed.

*****

Jinx and Brandi Shannon stood when a nurse came out and Jinx saw the way the other woman wouldn't look them in the eye, her body language, everything was screaming what she didn't want to hear. Jinx moved closer to Brandi, holding her hand. "What happened?" Being a mother was new to Jinx; always before, Mary had been in charge. Her little girl had been more mother than daughter for as long as she could remember.

"I'm so sorry, ma'am. She flatlined. They're trying…" Jinx was no longer listening as Brandi sobbed against her mom. All she could think about was the bear she'd had since she was a little girl that she'd given away months before, Biscuit.

_Baby, why'd you leave me? Why'd you have to go? I was countin' on forever, now I'll never know. I can't even breathe. It's like I'm lookin' from a distance, standin' in the background, everybody's sayin' he's not comin' home now. This can't be happenin' to me. This is just a dream._

Raphael Ramirez had gone to get the chapel, kneeling in a pew. He'd planned on being in church soon, of course, but for a wedding, not to beg God to spare Mary's life. He hated Mary's job, 'serving her country' the books she'd given him said. If she hadn't been working that job, she wouldn't have been shot, plain and simple. Still, he wished he could trade places with her partner. Marshall was out looking for the person who hurt Mary, doing something, anything, to vindicate her. All he could think about was kneeling here. He looked up as Brandi came in, her eyes red with tears, and repeated the words that the nurse had just said, kneeling with him, holding him as he reeled, like he'd been the one shot instead of Mary.

_The preacher man said, 'Let's bow our heads and pray. Lord please lift his soul and heal this hurt'. Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song that she ever heard. And then they handed her a folded up flag and she held on to all she had left of him. Oh, well, what could've been. And the guns rang, one last shot, and it felt like a bullet in her heart. Baby, why'd you leave me? Why'd you have to go? I was countin' on forever, now I'll never know. I can't even breathe._

_*****_

Stan McQueen knew from the tears in Eleanor Prince's eyes that something had gone horribly wrong. She had volunteered to call the hospital, to give them updates on Mary's condition.

Eleanor never expected to be crying at work; the last time she had was when she'd attempted to go back to the FBI after John's death. Crying like this was completely unprofessional, but she couldn't stop, not even when she realized she was scaring Stan. She remembered the first time she'd met Mary, after she'd reorganized the desks in the office, how she and Mary had gotten into a shoving match over the desk and Mary ended up pushing her desk so hard that the monitor fell into the floor and broke. After Mary and Marshall left, she'd confronted Stan about letting him take advantage of him like that, be so unprofessional. She'd never realized that they were more children to Stan than employees or what exactly Mary was still trying to survive at the time, a kidnapping and near rape. In a way, they'd both survived together, the loss of her husband, Mary her ordeal.

"Eleanor?" He spoke quietly, his eyes going from Marshall to where Eleanor stood in front of him. "What happened?" He knew it was unprofessional to hold her, but no one was around and he put his arms around her, knowing it wouldn't be good, he didn't want to hear.

He couldn't stop thinking about Mary's kidnapping. Last year he'd felt like there were things he could do, that if he just kept going, kept trying to find out what happened, looking for Mary, that they would be all right. This time it seemed so much worse, so much harder, for her family, for himself, and for Marshall. He was just sitting there at the table in the interrogation room, frozen, like he'd stopped breathing, stopped living, and no one noticed.

_It's like I'm lookin' from a distance, standin' in the background. Everybody's sayin' he's not comin' home now. This can't be happenin' to me. This is just a dream._

After what seemed like an eternity, Marshall Mann walked out of the interrogation room and saw them. The first thing he thought of was telling Mary that he'd been right, that something was going on between the two, and then, when he realized once again she wasn't with him, his heart shattered yet again. "What happened?" He finally asked.

"She flatlined," Stan stated flat-out, not knowing how to sugarcoat it. "They're trying to revive her."

Marshall shook his head, not realizing he was slumping to the floor. It was almost as if Mary was so much of a part of him that, if she died, he would to. He remembered his last words to her: 'shut up'. He had been playing, it was part of the banter they always did, but could he live with himself if those were the last words she heard him say? Could he live with himself if he couldn't live with her?

As Marshall put his head in his hands, crying as he had discovered that she wasn't breathing, Stan and Eleanor sat beside him, one on either side, like parents trying to support their son.

_Ooh, baby, why'd you leave me? Why'd you have to go? I was countin' on forever, now I'll never know. Oh, I'll never know. It's like I'm lookin from a distance, standin in the background. Everybody's sayin, he's not comin' home now. This can't be happenin' to me, this is just a dream. Oh, this is just a dream. It's just a dream, yeah, yeah._

*****

Marshall kept having visions flash through his head of his partner, in that dress she'd worn to the wedding rehearsal dinner of one of their witnesses, the kiss in the barn that same night, how good she always looked even in a tank and jeans. He saw her sitting by his bed when he woke up after being shot, how she'd run to him when they found her after she was kidnapped. He saw her with their witnesses, with Brandi and her mom. She'd had too many near misses, far too many, the kidnapping, a building collapse, having to drag her off a bridge that was about to explode. He remembered his toast at her engagement party, how he loved her, and remembered her telling a witness that the only thing that got her through the day was her partner. Most of all, he remembered being in that shack when he was kidnapped, telling her that he felt like he was the keeper of an exotic animal and he had to protect the world from her and her from the world. She'd kissed his cheek and apologized, but said that he couldn't quit. Walking away, he'd quit. He'd failed her.

He stood, splashing water on his face, seeing his reflection in the mirror. He looked like he felt, like he was dying, and wanted to take Mary's place. Although they knew that Mary's heart had started again, he still felt like his own had stopped. He had lied to her about having a date, he'd walked away when he knew she needed help, and it was his fault for not being there. He had to see her, had to be with her, but no one was getting back there, not even Jinx and Brandi.

*****

Raphael walked back to Mary's room, feeling a thousand years old. He knew for certain that he couldn't handle going through this again, not ever, and knew for certain that her job would always hold these risks. They were at a deal breaker; she couldn't give her job up and he couldn't handle her keeping it. He thought of her family, her mom and sister, her partner…Marriage was supposed to be about partners. He was supposed to be her partner, but it seemed like everything else always took precedence. When she wasn't working, she was worried about Jinx, about Brandi, and on the rare occasions that she wasn't telling them what to do, she was with her partner. All he seemed to do with Mary lately was fight, since they'd become engaged. She was angry about him fixing the house, taking the job with Peter, doing the commercials…He loved her, but he couldn't picture them actually having a partnership, a life together. Just because he lived with her didn't mean they were together. He knew what he had to do; for her sake as well as his, he had to let her go.

Mary woke and felt a wave of pain. She called out not for Raphael, not for her mom or Brandi, but for Marshall. She only wanted Marshall.

She opened her eyes and saw Raphael there, knowing what she'd done. "Raph…"

"When you get better…" He paused. "We need to talk."

She shook her head. "Just say it. Just say it now." She'd never been unfaithful physically; that should count for something.

"You won't quit?"

Somehow, she knew he meant her job. "I won't quit."

"I love you, Mary…" He whispered, wanting her to know that. "I want to be here for you. For all of you."

"You can stay…as long as you want." She felt like she was getting divorced and they hadn't even gotten married.

"Brandi and Jinx wanted to see you." He stood, stroking some of the blonde hair out of her face. "Te amo."

"Raph…" She paused, realizing what Marshall had said was true. She'd been looking for a way out of the marriage before it even began. She just couldn't find a way to do it without hurting him, something she never wanted to do. She'd felt she owed him, she wanted to help him, but she hadn't realized they could just be friends, hadn't realized how short life was, too short to waste. "Thank you." She watched him walk away.

*****

Marshall entered the waiting room, seeing Raphael sitting by himself, his head in his hands, as Marshall had only a few hours earlier. Jinx and Brandi were nowhere to be seen.

"They're in with Mary," Raphael said, seeing him looking around. He was tired and, finally, hungry, having lost track of the number of hours they'd been sitting here, waiting.

"You're not?" Marshall asked in confusion. If Mary had been his fiancée, he would have never let her go again, regardless of what she said.

"I thought it should be family." He didn't know why he was telling the other man the next part, but it just came out. "Mary and I…we, we're not getting married."

Marshall didn't know whether he was happy or sad; he guessed it had a lot to do with how Mary felt about it. "Thank you…earlier…for not telling Jinx and Brandi."

"This…" He looked around the room, meaning Mary's being hurt. "This is part of the job?"

Marshall nodded. "Unfortunately. I was shot a few months ago; I guess this time someone just figured it was her turn." The words hurt, despite the fact that he tried to make them seem nonchalant. He would have rather faced a thousand bullets aimed at him rather than one at Mary.

"I can't take it. I can't take this again." He paused. "I should go check on Jinx and Brandi. Do you want…"

"Can I?" He wanted nothing more than to see Mary, hold her, see for himself that she was fine, how lucky they'd all been.

Raphael and Marshall walked together to Mary's room, seeing Jinx asleep in the chair near Mary's bed, Brandi asleep on the bed beside her sister, Mary's fingers stroking Brandi's hair as she had when she was little and Brandi was upset. Her eyes looked towards the door and the way Mary's eyes lit up, her smile, told Raphael he'd done the right thing.

"Jinx. Brandi," Raphael whispered to the two women, waking Jinx up. "Visiting hours are almost over. Peter's supposed to bring food to the house."

Jinx looked reluctantly at her daughter as if she didn't want to leave her, so Marshall spoke up. "I'll stick around until she falls to sleep."

"Thank you," Jinx whispered gently to both men, watching as Raphael picked Brandi up, still sleeping, looking more like a kid than an adult. Jinx hugged her daughter carefully, as if she were afraid of hurting her. "We'll come back tomorrow."

"Get some sleep," Mary whispered gently to her, glad that Raphael, Brandi, and Peter would all be at the house. Normally, when her mother was this stressed, she turned to alcohol. It would be among the first real tests of her sobriety. Mary stroked through her sister's hair and kissed her forehead. "Night, squish," she whispered gently, watching her family leave as the sun began to set.

"You look like hell," she whispered to Marshall.

"My partner scared the hell out of me again," he whispered back, stroking her cheek. "I have…I have to tell you something."

"Is Francesca okay?"

He tried to keep his face straight, his voice level, as he said, "She's already been moved."

"Did you get him?"

Marshall shook his head. "Not yet, but Stan and Bobby are working on it." He paused. "I love you."

She nodded. "I know."

Thinking that she misunderstood him and thought love for a friend, he shook his head. "No, Mary, I…"

"Marshall." She shifted and winced, but would never have admitted that it hurt. "I know. I've known for awhile."

He sat down on the bed with her. "You don't have to say it back. I just wanted you to know. I didn't want 'shut up' to be the last words I ever said to you." She looked at him strangely. "You know, when you asked who the lucky guy was and I told you to shut up?"

She smiled. "Marshall, you honestly think I don't know the difference between what you say and what you mean?"

"I have another confession."

"What'd'I look like? A priest?"

He smiled, missing her retorts. "I didn't have a date tonight. I didn't like the whole thing with Francesca and wanted to bail. Maybe if I'd been there…"

"All that would have happened was that you'd be shot with or instead of me. We've done that. I wasn't crazy about it." She let her hand stroke his cheek, seeing him start to smile. "Do me a favor. Stop blaming yourself. You can't always play zookeeper." He gave her a look. "You know, exotic animal…" She waited for him to say he had no recollection of telling her that.

Instead he said the exact opposite. "You remember that?"

"That day was…unforgettable." The sunset from the window seemed to be giving her more color, helping her not look as fragile, weak. "There's been something I've wanted to tell you since that day. I've been scared…" She paused. "I love you. That's why I didn't want you to leave me. You're my partner, not only at work, but in everything…" She moved over a little more and he took it as a cue to lay beside her as he had before when she'd had a bad dream, stroking his hand through her hair, holding on to her as tightly as he dared without hurting her, still so afraid of losing her. He'd had a glimpse of life without her and he couldn't handle it. He knew his heart would keep beating, he would keep breathing, but life, as he knew it, would end without her.


End file.
